Dumb Quotes

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
--Miss Alabama: Wise words from the 1994 Miss USA contest

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime
--Allais, Alphonse

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
--Berle, Milton

I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong.
--Goldwyn, Samuel

Include me out.
--Goldwyn, Samuel

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive!
--Goldwyn, Samuel

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population
--Letterman, David

I think midnight is the best part of the day to sleep
--Liden, Robert